critique my site ...

[Dimz]

hi , im pretty new to flash , and theres nothing especially great about my site except maybe the nice art thats has been hand painted by myself and a friend of mine ...

this is a mod site , and contains no violence or any other censorable content ; except the design document page ("design") contains references to weaponry .


so with that out of the way , the site is here :
http://www.dimmy.biz/ransomfocus.html

please feel free to give suggestions or talk about things that are wrong about the page ( the music may not suit all fans either ) .

thanks , Dimz

[scotty]

Moved to Showcase & Critiques

scotty(-:

[wcinc]

Nicely done. You should add a preloader at the beginning so that it shows that the site is loading. You should also have the pages jump in the flash frames instead of going to a completely new page.

[Ben Smith]

You need to add a preloader

[Envy]

I dont like it at all, it just doesnt work. The music makes me want to eat my fist and the fonts are horrible. The overall style of the website just isnt nice :(. The design seems too random, there isnt really an indication as to what the site is for (other than the title). Maybe add a new banner with a pic in the bg? i dunno...


Also you should add a preloader and a stop/play button for the music.

[Dimz]

wow guys thz for the replies ...

yes i do very badly need a preloader , this site is used by alot of people , and i cant have them starin at a blank screen .

also anyone know the AS for jumping frames instead of going to a completely diff page ?

and if anyone is willing to build a music on/off button and/or a preloader that loads an external swf thatd rock , i will give full credit on the team page as well as links to your site just for building it .
though it needs to fit in with the color sheme at the very least , and hopefully fits well with it .

i know of one person who knows how to make a preloader and hes busy with his site . so if anyone can build one , you get free links on a mod site that will be registered on a number of different mod fan sites .

@envy : just reading the news would tell you theres more info at the design page .

[salvador marley]

preloader tutorial:

http://www.kirupa.com/developer/mx/preloader.htm

that preloader should be ok for what you need.

as for the music - why not make this on/off player which also has a volume controler:

http://www.kirupa.com/developer/mx/volume_slider.htm

[Photogenius]

As I clicked on this thread, reading "critique my site ..." being in the moof im in, i thought to myself this better be good...

Sorry to inform you, but I wasnt all that impressed. For a start the music wasnt exactly a headache cure, and the buttons dont match the black bg. The buttons should also have a rollover to make them look like the business. Sorry, but your site may as well just have been done in HTML as it doesnt offer much dynamic interecativity.

Hope Im not being too harsh...

[salvador marley]

photo - ( the mood you are in?) give the guy a chance to follow the tutorials i supplied and it might get better. He didnt claim that it is a great site so we should give him a chance to improve

[BoonDock]

:huh: ? :huh:

[unchew]

There is a jumping to frames tutorial I think...

[fasterthanlight™]

Times New Roman is a crummy font to use in web applications....

[Dimz]

well i understand the gripes , and thanks for stickin up for me marley ...

this was my 4th flash animation , and i know nothing about code , i cant even get mp3 players to function properly , and they've been coded by near-pro's LOL .

and thanks for the links , its alway helpful to find good tutorials , though i wish there were video tutorials for this , since the coding of such features is difficult to understand (ie. why what needs to be where ) .

and btw its lucida console , and it doesnt look right i know i couldnt find another font i liked ...

[salvador marley]

have you tried using pixel fonts instead?

www.fontsforflash.com (http://www.fontsforflash.com)

theres some good ones there

[Dimz]

I found a dope site for fonts : http://www.dafont.com (http://www.dafont.com/)

but i used default lucida cause i use it in messenger and was rushing it , took me a few days to build that site , and its not even that good .

[=guinness=]

on release{
gotoAndPlay(#);
}

on release{
gotoFrame(#);
}

^general syntax, didnt bother to look it up but it is 3 lines max unless you want to get fance. it is not something someone should have to do and certainly not something you need to give credit for.

for the sound put a behavior on a button

as far as the "handpainted art" i dont know what that is supposed to be, the thing in the top right? to me that looks like a quick chalk charcoal filter in PS.

[simplistik]

:sigh: HOLY CRAP 2MB for that?!?!?! I didn't even know the site was loading until I checked my activity. But you already knew you needed a preloader.

As for the site. I don't care about the tutorial links you just recieved none of them will help you w/ the design of it.

1. What's the site about? You need to have a general statement about the site when it first loads cause a site like this is not evident at all. You have no shots of the MOD, nothing.

2. The overall design is poor, the font usage is extremely poor.

3. The background image doesn't make sense and doesn't seem to hold any relevance to the site what so ever.

4. The LCD look... is bad... and choppy... and unless it some how references to the MOD it's pointless.

Umm... your site is down now so I'll continue when it gets back up.

[salvador marley]

"As for the site. I don't care about the tutorial links you just recieved none of them will help you w/ the design of it."

is this one aimed at me?

[simplistik]

"As for the site. I don't care about the tutorial links you just recieved none of them will help you w/ the design of it."

is this one aimed at me?
No not all, it's not "aimed" towards anyone... all I was just sayin they will give him all the techincal results but for volume and preloader... but not improve his design, that's all.

[salvador marley]

simplistic,

Ok fair enough. I don't know what links will give him better design skills but I don't think anyone would disagree that there needs to be a preloader and some sort of sound control to this so i posted the links to at least help him sort out these things.

It looks like he must have the music stored within the main swf and that is probably why the site is so large - 2meg

It would be better if he streamed the music from an external source - I have a link to a tutorial at actionscript.org to achieve this - if he wants it.

all the best.

[Dimz]

yeah id like to have a streaming audio tutorial , thanks marley .

also i added a preloader and am currently designing a "full site transition " movie clip to make it work a bit cooler .

as for having no screens of the mod , the engine the MOD will be released on wont even be out for 6-9 months , if that soon .

[salvador marley]

streaming player tutorial:

http://www.actionscript.org/tutorials/advanced/Flash_MX_audio_player/index.shtml

i made it and used it on this site i made for an artist:

http://alanhiggs.com

its straight forward enough

[Dimz]

very nice

[DDD]

Man, I must say that the site is not very easy on the eyes. I would say scrap it and start over. The music is bad, sounds like an old school wave file, with no way to turn it off. The site is very distacting with the bgrd and the textures. It also seems like 2 different people worked on it and did not communicate. The buttons dont seem to fit in. And what is the site about? I think you need to convey a message on this site. Also I think you could have just used html and saved some bandwidth. This is a good start, and my crit is not meant to discourage. But in its current state the site is not very good.

[trundrumbalind]

Whao!!! That really does look like it's based on the Unreal 3 engine!!! Wicked!

[trundrumbalind]

Oh by the way, I was being sarcastic...

I do actually really like the music though--it's hilarious!

[Digitalosophy]

I didn't wait for it to load due to the extreme file size.

[salvador marley]

There's a loader now - whhhoooooo:)

ok, I would try and make it now so that most of the content opens up in the main flash section without opening up in new browser windows. A good tutorial for this is this:

http://www.kirupa.com/developer/mx2004/transitions.htm

If you can do that and get that streaming music player working - well things are starting to really rock and roll then :)

Ok lets address some of the comments on the design side of things, it looks to me like you are going for that grungy, brushed metal sort of look and I am assuming that you have photoshop, ok, you might want to try and use this site for tutorials and create a more pleasing to look at interface:

http://www.good-tutorials.com/tutorials/2

they have all sorts of tutes from brushed metal, grunge, and nice button tutorials, so that might help. (theres also a search facility too)

I would also strongly recomend getting a few free pixel fonts from fonts for flash as this would help the presentation also.

So lets recap =

preloader + streaming music + pixel fonts + remake of the basic interface = much better site and much kinder words here at kirupa :)

[Jdexter]

aright some of you a55holes are way too f*ckin harsh , this is like my 4 th flash movie ... and its an unreal MOD you jacka55 , not unreal 3 .

site updated with my bands music ...

and marley , thanks for the help , im designing a full new site with transitions a specturm annalyzer , new streaming music , and a more " easy going " theme

[salvador marley]

i look forward to seeing the new site :)

you've changed your name?

[McGuffin]

aright some of you a55holes are way too f*ckin harsh , this is like my 4 th flash movie ... and its an unreal MOD you jacka55 , not unreal 3 .

This is a forum for critiques. They're critiquing your site, and believe me, you'll get better for it. People here aren't supposed to act like your parents and say whatever you make is wonderful and good and awesome and the best ever, because thats not helping anyone get better at web design. Sure, it sucks, but everyone has their worst site at one point or another, and its best you get "harsh" comments on it now, rather than get good comments and do something similar.

It takes a big man to build something. It takes a bigger man to realize that what you built needs to be improved. My advice would be to swallow your pride, take the comments like a man, and use the comments on your next project, so its much better.

And Reefster, shut up.

[REEF·]

Yessir :kommie:.

[McGuffin]

Much love ;)

[Jdexter]

dude i was bi7chin at the lack of help and the abundance of downing everyhting ithat ive done , noone said " hey its not so good try this " , except savadore marley ...

i dont learn by bein told me site is a piece of **** , i learn by someone saying heres what you need , or something like that .

im not showin any of you until its **** ready to be seen , cause i dont evven wanna deal with the lame " thats 5hit " critiques , you aint my parents but have some respect for someone new to the boards men .

[REEF·]

ddue i was *****in at the lack of help and the abundance of downing everyhting ithat ive done , noone said " hey its not so good try this , except savadore marley ..I've noticed that happening a lot lately. I'll give a stab at it, I hope it's not too harsh.

First, the preloader. At least you have one. Try a bar preloader, it looks much better than 6-7 digit numbers changing up. Second, speed up your website, the animation is really slow. Third, the music is a sore sound for sore ears. Try making it a bit different, you can find some free ones at flashkit.com. Your "Ransom Focus" text on top is selectable/highlightable - which it shouldnt be unless its dynamic and/or you're allowing the user to copy it. I like the button sound effects! I don't mind your little imagination "Unreal 3" thing you have going on, if it makes the site look cooler to you use it. Lastly, the fonts. www.dafont.com - go there, very good fonts on that website.

I just have to say this, it's not that bad, you don't wanna see our 4th animations mmmmkay :P. Keep browsing websites (!) until you get more ideas, it'll help make the layout/design better.

- Deez

[REEF·]

For You

Preloader:
http://www.actionscript.org/tutorials/beginner/Smooth_PreLoader/index.shtml

Sound Effects:
http://www.flashkit.com/soundfx/

Sound Loops (music):
http://www.flashkit.com/loops/

Photoshop Tutorials:
http://www.good-tutorials.com/

Flash Tutorials (good stuff!):
http://www.kirupa.com/developer/mx/index.htm

Inspiration:
http://www.fcukstar.com

Anger Management:
http://www.consultrngpsych.com/

[salvador marley]

both myself and reefster have now offered tutes to help this guy out and i feel confident that things will improve greatly from this moment forward. Ok guys, lets all take a backstep and let the dude remake the site which i feel he will greatly enjoy doing.

Flash is always a constant learning curve and can be at many times very frustrating especially when it comes to using scripts like php etc

when the new design is made - please post it on this thread because if you don't i might not see it :)

good luck new flasher :)