View Full Version : Have a nice day!
[Legoman]
November 22nd, 2002, 02:21 AM
Facts Of Life
1. During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool, you will ingest 1/12
litres of urine.
2. In an average day, your hands will come into indirect contact with
15
*****es (touching door handles, etc.).
3. An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic
hairs.
4. In a year, you will have swallowed 14 insects while you slept.
5. Annually, you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently
masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
6. Annually, you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently
masturbated
and failed to wash their hands.
7. In a lifetime, 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your
dirty
linen basket
8. At an average wedding reception, you have a 1/100 chance of getting
a
cold sore from one of the guests.
9. Daily, you will breathe in 1 liter of other people's anal gases.
10. With all of this in mind, have a GREAT day!!!!
reverendflash
November 22nd, 2002, 02:51 AM
LOL!
I had to go thru safety & sanitation classes at chef's school...
We actually got tested on this stuff... :evil:
I have an ex-partner who developed an alergy to certain soaps...
I still wash my hands before eating anything, don't touch my eyes, or mouth with my hand...
:ninja:
:: I know, Too Much Info ::
Rev:elderly:
lostinbeta
November 22nd, 2002, 03:11 AM
LOL, I learned a lot of that stuff in school, but I still don't care.
If my eye needs scratchin, my eye needs scratchin, thats all there is to it...lol.
reverendflash
November 22nd, 2002, 03:12 AM
I was so bad at one time, that I wouldn't shake hands with certain guys in bars, because I knew they never washed after using the restroom... :bandit:
:: I'm much better now ::
Rev:elderly:
upuaut
November 22nd, 2002, 03:32 AM
Facts Of Life
1. During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool, you will ingest 1/12
litres of urine.
exactly why I don't swim in such muck pits. I'd rather drink swamp water from a pond than that.
2. In an average day, your hands will come into indirect contact with
15
*****es (touching door handles, etc.).
girlfriends really should be listened to.. mine has taught me to always grab paper towels first when dealing with any sort of lavatory doors and such. As for the others, carry antibacterial quick wash. It's sold amost everywhere and at least will protect you from anything short of the pleague.
3. An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic
hairs. ewwwwwww. Now that's something I hadn't heard. I just find fast food to be substandard in general. I cook meals every chance I get, and buy nothing from a shop I don't like the look of.
4. In a year, you will have swallowed 14 insects while you slept. Yumm.. full of good buggy protean. You shouldn't worry about this. It's free food.
5. Annually, you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently
masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
6. Annually, you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently
masturbated and failed to wash their hands.I don't shake hands with people except at interviews. For those occations antibacterial wash is always at hand. (so to speak)
7. In a lifetime, 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your
dirty
linen basket Those bastards..
8. At an average wedding reception, you have a 1/100 chance of getting
a
cold sore from one of the guests. all that kissing. bleh. I tell ya, the whole practice is unsanitary. We should never kiss again. Actually.. that is a pretty amazing stat. 1 in a 100 is really quite high.
9. Daily, you will breathe in 1 liter of other people's anal gases. Yes but in a day they will breath in 14 liters of my anal gases so I figure they're getting the worst of it.
10. With all of this in mind, have a GREAT day!!!!
where the hell did you find these.:q: :P :q:
lostinbeta
November 22nd, 2002, 03:48 AM
Wow david, you are pretty sorted...LOL :)
reverendflash
November 22nd, 2002, 01:41 PM
Fester:
May I say, most men do not wash their hand after urinating, when at a public bar. If they do, very few actually use soap, and wash correctly (of this I am guilty quite often).
We did lab experiments with taking cultures off of our own hands, after doing certain things...You would be amazed at how much crud you pick up, even trying to be careful. I won't go into the details, it is just too gross. ;)
About the stirring a drink with your finger... all you have to do is rub an eye, wipe your mouth, touch an open bug bite, smoke a cigarette, etc.
I'm not an agoraphobic, but that class did freak me out for a couple days. :evil: It was just after Nutrition, and we learned that if it was good for you, it could kill you... :x
Luckily, most humans have a fairly good immune system to combat all of these <i>germs</>.
Rev:elderly:
fester8542
November 22nd, 2002, 02:26 PM
Rev...
Shaking hands after the bathroom is no big deal.
Most of us were tought a a very young age not to urinate on our hands.
As for the #2 thing. I can see your point. Most bars have very chintsy toilet paper....and if you dont fold 2-3 times your fingers can poke right through :o
Dont let anyone stir your drink with thier finger at a bar :P
Also...dave
your overproduction of methane is disturbing.
mjULTRA
November 22nd, 2002, 02:43 PM
9. Daily, you will breathe in 1 liter of other people's anal gases.
wow, and here i was worried about the excess burning of fossil fuels...
fester8542
November 22nd, 2002, 03:02 PM
Rev,
I can see how an experience like that can change you outlook on such topics.
I am very guilty of not washing my hands after the bathroom. I am not a pig, just never thought about microscopic organisims on Mr. winky.
Guig0
November 22nd, 2002, 03:03 PM
Originally posted by [Legoman]
3. An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
Hmmmmm...
So that´s the McDonald´s big mac secret spice! :P
=)
Guig0
November 22nd, 2002, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by fester8542
I am very guilty of not washing my hands after the bathroom. I am not a pig, just never thought about microscopic organisims on Mr. winky.
Pig??? No, no noooo! I would never take you for that!http://www.kirupa.com/forums/smileys_files/soapbox.gif
=)
reverendflash
November 22nd, 2002, 03:10 PM
Fester:
Most men don't...
If I am snacking on pretzels at Moe's, and someone else sticks his grubby paw into the bowl, I stop eating at that point. I don't say anything, it is a free country after all, but I dont' go into that bowl again...
As bad as men are, kids are the worst... they bring home stuff from school that would scare a Marine... :evil:
I live in a town that has a high population of Pacific Rim visitors, along with their own strains of flu's... that is my main motivation, staying healthy so I can earn money...
I still don't freak out on it... I'm not going to stop having fun...
:P
Rev:elderly:
fester8542
November 22nd, 2002, 04:17 PM
Hmmmmmm
I suppose I see what your saying.
Maybe I do have a blatent disregard for hygene :)
I chew my fingernails, I drink from the Milk carton, I dont wash my hands after i blow my nose.....
I am a filth filthy man
reverendflash
November 22nd, 2002, 04:36 PM
LOL
no, you are just a guy... :)
I have changed my habits (I use my sleeve if I can to touch my eyes, etc.) because I hang out in a dive, just off the corner of "Crack" and "Weed" Streets... :beam:
but I love my dive, and my neighborhood...
Rev:elderly:
andr.in
November 22nd, 2002, 04:57 PM
oh god!
never thought of that before!
fester8542
November 23rd, 2002, 03:32 PM
Rev... I know what you mean.
The place I hang out in is a wicked dive. Its the most un chink, chink food resteraunt out there.
(no offense chinks) :)
Pool tables, DJ friday and sat. No kareoke and mostly Irish employees.
But its a five minute walk to my house in case I get too blitzed to drive.
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