Girl help needed...

[mdipi]

guys i have just realized i got a crush on my good friend. its killing me having her not know, and me not knowing how she feels, but i cant "just tell her" because i know we wouldnt be as close of friends anymore, and that means just as much to me. i donno what to do but i really need to talk to her about it soon.

someo one help!

[CanadianGuy]

Just tell her or you'll always be wondering....what if?

[BadMagick]

Remember...

It comes ONLY out to go to the bathroom!

Don't listen to your hookey-doo - it'll only cause you problems.

[Digigamer]

Originally posted by billmarr
Just tell her or you'll always be wondering....what if?
I donno but for some reaosn that doesn't sound like the best course of action to me.

If I were you MIDI I'd ask her if she wanted to go see a movie or something and then while your out watch how she behaves towards you advances (like touches on the arm, shoulders touching during the movie, etc). I would not confront her about it like billmarr said because that might scare her which would be exactly what your afraid of. Go on dates and let things play their course. If she doesn't get any closer to you while you guys are alone then she's probably not interested.

Also remember that probably the only reason you are attracted to her is because you spend so much time with her and are such good friends. Its only natural that you would begin to feel an attraction towards her.

[thoriphes]

don't be such a p***y, quit stalling and talk to her already. The worst thing about trying to start a relationship is worrying. No matter how much you worry about what she is going to say, it won't affect her response. and if she says no, then move on, stay friends, see if ahmed's available, do whatever. just don't let it get to you. and all for the best. good luck.

[redViper]

If you really value her as a friend.. be very careful.
I told one of my good friends I liked her, and she didnt feel the same.. and lets just say now, we fight a lot. about random stupid stuff

[reverendflash]

Ahmed would treat you better...

:D

Revhttp://aulman.com/rev.gif

[The_Vulcan]

Tell her you have a secret….

But you can’t tell her because you worried that once the secret is out, it might affect your friendship and that’s the last thing you want…

She will play that tell me game, tell me, tell me, we will still be friends… then when your bored with that… Make her promise that if you tell her, nothing is going to change…

Then when she agrees, just shake your head and laugh, and spit that you have a crush on her…
If you laugh and treat it lightly, she won’t feel threatened and if she is not interested it shouldn’t affect your friendship…. At least she knows and the balls in her court…

If she is not interested you had better get the idea out of your head fast, or ditch her as a friend… Cause if you let your crush go on, when you see her with another guy it will piss you off.

[Phat7]

I had a good friend once and I told her about my feelings, she told me that she only wanted to be friends and we lost touch after that for a period of time. Only later I found out from my other friend who was also her friend that she would start dating me if there wasn't this other friend, who was also my friend and her friend. We were a bunch of friends :)

Anyway, we are good friends with her still.

Number of words "friend" : 9 :)

[rdj]

just ask her to go out with you (alone). go some place nice, don't be pushy & just try to seduce her.

the only thing is, that if you break up, you'll probabrly won't be friends anymore tho. (in 99% of the cases)

So think about it good.

[ratbaggy]

Tell her.

[Phat7]

It's easy for you guys to say. He's gonna follow one of the advices from here, probably get a slap, and you won't feel anything cause it was not you :sigh: :P

Mike, you need to wait for the perfect time and the perfect place. Just do what your heart tells you. ;)

[claudio]

Take your chances mike, or you might regret later. Im not saying you have to tell her how you feel.
But I agree with rdj. Try getting closer to her, asking her out, just the 2 of you, but don't be too pushy. And watch for any signs she may give you on how she feels about you. The next step... well.... it depends on the signs.

Good luck mike :)

[Kitiara]

I had a similar thing, where I really fancied one of my friends who I'd known for about 5 years. We were always doing stuff like going to football, films and that together, but neither of us had the guts to actually ask the other one how we felt about the whole thing.

Two years later (two years!!!), we finally got it together and started going out. To be honest I think we only managed it because we'd both had a little bit to drink. He was walking me home and we were having a conversation... I think I might have been taking the mick out of him *innocence* when he turned round, said "don't you start", kissed me and it just went from there. :blush:

Went out for a year and a half, and still friends now, even though we split up. :)

[Phat7]

That's what I call romance :love:

[Kitiara]

Did I mention that we were standing in the middle of a road at the time? :sure:

Not so much romance, more like downright dangerous. :P OK, so it was 11.30 at night and not too busy, but of all the times to pick, when you're crossing the road? :)

[Phat7]

Did passing cars stop and start applausing? Like in the movies y'know :}

[grimdeath]

dipi jsut tell her how you feel and let her know how special she is to you, you might be surprised she might feel the same way. Don't let time go by and never tell her because you might be letting go the love of your life. Me i lived wiht my ex wife for 8 years knew her since she was like 7 years old, and we broke up got 2 kids and are very good friends. It's all about how mature you guys can be when it comes to breaking up. Every person i break up with is still a very good friend we ocassionally go out drink beers and talk about our new experiences its really cool. Every person is special and if you have feelings for this person then you should let them know, and if she considers you a real friend she shouldnt get scared just because you like her.

Good Luck buddy. :thumb:

[McGiver]

Just tell her that you really like her, and you could imagine a closer relationship to her. (not in this words)

[mdipi]

hey guys thanks a bunch for all the replys. i kinda know what i am gonna say, but am gonna wait it out for a few more days. thanks a bunch. :thumb:

[BadMagick]

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it" - from the movie Braveheart

[fester8542]

Hey man,
Your treading on some messed up ground here.

You have to be ready to toss your friendship out the window if your pursue this. If it flys and she is all about you too.....thats the nuts man. But a few months/years down the road can lead to some hairy situations.

Kit had said that after her and her dude split they were cool as friends again. Thats actually incredibly rare. (and props for that by the way)

I find it impossible to be just friends after a long term relationship split. The thought of someone else being with that person twists my insides to the point of borderline insanity.

Its easier (but more cowardly) for me to just torch the bridge and move on. Sure its selfish, but I have already come to terms with that...

Sorry I am goin on my own personal tangent here :trout:

Oh yeah I had a point here....There are a lot of people like me that just cant bury the past, wipe the slate clean and proceed like everything was before.

Keep in mind your a pretty young dude right? (14/15?)

Perhaps you should just jump on the greanade and see if it goes off. Life's lessons are always beter learned through personal experience.

[andr.in]

Perhaps you should just jump on the greanade and see if it goes off. Life's lessons are always beter learned through personal experience.
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. (Evan Hardin)

;)

[Kitiara]

I'll admit that it's difficult, but at the age of 15ish you've really got nothing to lose.

When my bloke and I split up t was very awkward for a while afterwards. That could have had something to do with the fact that he'd been seeing a girl where he worked, of course... So yeah, things were bad for a bit after that. Then I figured that there was nothing I could do about it, he apologised for being a ratb*****d, and we settled back to beign friends.

Now if one of us is having trouble with a significant other, then we call on each other for advice and a shoulder.

[mdipi]

yeah 14, no i agree that i got nothin to loose, i just gotta suck it up :-/

thanks agian for all the help :D

[Lacuna]

Hey Mdipi,

I would highly recommend following Digigamer's advice. Go places together alone but dont make it feel like a date. If she is interested she WILL make some sort of hint like Digigamer said. If you tell her something like that even if she suspects you like her, saying it outloud can really turn things around, trust me. I had a male friend and we'd hang out together and then he asked me out. I loved being his friend and we had so much fun but us as a couple wouldnt have worked. I said I think we should stay friends but that made him made cause he had gone out on a limb to ask me.... we wernt friends really after that.... we felt awkward and weird after the confrontation and to make things worse he actually spread a rumour around the camp we were working at that I had sleep with his friend WHICH I DIDNT and boy does something like THAT make you made.

Moral: If you're good friends and you enjoy their company, dont try to change the relationship with a conversation, make general hints (arm touching, shoulder's toucher [Digigamer's ideas]....) and the other person, if interested will make them back. You will get the understanding if they also have more than friend feelings for you.

OR... Kit's idea IS pretty good. Just get her smashed and then bring it out (make sure she's really really smashed and she'll probably let it all out) Just dont go getting all excited and going all the way or anything cause you dont want to wake up sober in the morning and then click into all the feelings you've expressed and how you're now lying naked to your friend.......

And THAT is Dr.Seretha's dose of LOVE medicine. Take it without food cause you'll get drunker.

~ Seretha :love:

[Kitiara]

Public Service Announcement

Kitiara would like to state that she is not advocating the consumption of alcohol before the age of 18 or of getting a date plastered in order to get your end away.

Thank you.

:)

[fester8542]

Originally posted by Kitiara
Public Service Announcement

Kitiara would like to state that she is not advocating the consumption of alcohol before the age of 18 or of getting a date plastered in order to get your end away.

Thank you.

:)

And being the largest advocate for alcohol here; I would like to also back up kit's statement.

[Kitiara]

If you're 15 then you have our permission to get her hyper on sugar or caffienated products instead. :)

[grinch]

D*mn Dipi!

Is she hot dude? I want to see her! I'm coming over there now!
Aw, my little dipi is all grown up... Haha just kidding man.
Just be like, B*tch! Su*k me! Thats what i do? thx +_+



grinch:kir:

[Kitiara]

Yeah, because that'll do it for any woman...

*Rolls eyes* :)

[mjULTRA]

If you really want to know how she feels about you (friend - or more than friend), then ask her if you can talk to her about relationship stuff, and then tell her about a crush that you have on another girl, and then look for signs of jealousy...

This is difficult, because girls send out mixed signals, and she might tell you to go for it, because she might be unable to admit how she really feels, or, she might really just want to be your friend.

In my experience, its always good to have a good plutonic female friend, for relationship advice, and whatnot. Try to court a couple other females, and keep her up on the progress. If she reciprocates your feelings, it will kill her to see you pursuing other girls..

Its a really tricky game, but heres three pieces of advice. 1 - Dont make advances on her, especially if you're not sure how she feels. This may ruin everything. 2 - Do your best to read the signs; it may be hard, but really try to notice how she acts towards you, as compared to how she treats other dudes....
and 3 - Go out of your way to let her know how much you appreciate her as a plutonic friend. If she likes you in the way that you like her, this will drive her crazy..

But then again, all chicks are different... Read the signs...

[reverendflash]

sounds like a case for ...








....Dear Lovie



She said in the Newsletter you can email her dearlovie@kirupa.com

what have you got to lose?

Revhttp://aulman.com/rev.gif

[lunatic]

I dated a guy for a little while who was my housemate and bandmate at the time (THAT was a big mistake - NEVER EVER EVER date someone you live with unless you are dating first and then move in together. And I recommend against dating someone you are in a band with also - makes gigs on the road very hard if you break up). Anyway, he told me he could never be friends with his exs because every time he looked at them all he could think was "I saw you naked". :sigh: Yep, real mature. And he was 25! But when we broke up I didn't let him off easily. I just made sure to keep in touch with him and now we're still friends. Of course, I have no idea what he is thinking when we run into each other but hopefully he's grown up a bit.

Moral of the story: if you can both me mature (doesn't matter your age - how good is your brain?) regardless of what happens then you'll be just fine with telling her how you feel. And of course it will be awkward at first if it doesn't work out. But if you make a point to try to keep the friendship going then it will.

K. Nuff sed from da old lady. ;)

[mdipi]

Sergi, think abou thte girls at my school. Then answer your question ;)

--

I have been talking a lot with her firends since they all said they had a feeling i liked her, so they are tellin me a lot of what to do too ;) thanks for all the help guys :D

[grinch]

Hehe,
Yah you got a point, but I one time saw this hot chick at your school, and she was like a wana-be skater. It was wierd, I was like whoa? Oh and Dipi, did you not have school today ether? thx+_+


grinch:kir:

[mdipi]

donno who you are talkin bout serge. this year? we will talk when you get on aim.

[Laslett]

Originally posted by Kitiara
I had a similar thing, where I really fancied one of my friends who I'd known for about 5 years. We were always doing stuff like going to football, films and that together, but neither of us had the guts to actually ask the other one how we felt about the whole thing.

Two years later (two years!!!), we finally got it together and started going out. To be honest I think we only managed it because we'd both had a little bit to drink. He was walking me home and we were having a conversation... I think I might have been taking the mick out of him *innocence* when he turned round, said "don't you start", kissed me and it just went from there. :blush:

Went out for a year and a half, and still friends now, even though we split up. :)

That really sweet. Oh and drink always helps the universal matchmaker

[Laslett]

Originally posted by grinch
D*mn Dipi!

Is she hot dude? I want to see her! I'm coming over there now!
Aw, my little dipi is all grown up... Haha just kidding man.
Just be like, B*tch! Su*k me! Thats what i do? thx +_+



grinch:kir:

OOoooooooo I saw this on a film. You drive her out to a nice remote spot and just blurt it out "Suck me beautiful"

Oh no wait that didn't actually work for the guy in the film


What would work if you could make it really warm and then rain so you're out side in the warm rain holding hands.

Oh and if you can get her drunk it helps.

Oooooo offer to make a website in her honour then come here and ask someone to build it for you.

Oh sod it go with the drunk thing.

Chateaux neufdupap is really nice

[TecFreak]

Originally posted by mdipi.com
guys i have just realized i got a crush on my good friend. its killing me having her not know, and me not knowing how she feels, but i cant "just tell her" because i know we wouldnt be as close of friends anymore, and that means just as much to me. i donno what to do but i really need to talk to her about it soon.

someo one help!
wow, the same exact thing happened to me a few months ago. I simply told one of her friends (I made it "sliip" out) and her friend told her (obviously) and she told her friend that she liked me too, and so now we're "going out". Things worked out perfectly, so DON'T BE AFRAID!

[Digigamer]

Originally posted by Seretha Blaze
Hey Mdipi,

I would highly recommend following Digigamer's advice. Go places together alone but dont make it feel like a date. If she is interested she WILL make some sort of hint like Digigamer said. If you tell her something like that even if she suspects you like her, saying it outloud can really turn things around, trust me. I had a male friend and we'd hang out together and then he asked me out. I loved being his friend and we had so much fun but us as a couple wouldnt have worked. I said I think we should stay friends but that made him made cause he had gone out on a limb to ask me.... we wernt friends really after that.... we felt awkward and weird after the confrontation and to make things worse he actually spread a rumour around the camp we were working at that I had sleep with his friend WHICH I DIDNT and boy does something like THAT make you made.

Moral: If you're good friends and you enjoy their company, dont try to change the relationship with a conversation, make general hints (arm touching, shoulder's toucher [Digigamer's ideas]....) and the other person, if interested will make them back. You will get the understanding if they also have more than friend feelings for you.
~ Seretha :love:

wow someone accually agreed with my advice. Thanks Seretha :D

[mdipi]

i tried that secret thing someone said to do (forgot who), but it didnt work, she was like, thats cool. i should have known tho...she is like that a lot.

oh well, apperently someone found out i like her and told her but she doestn belive them :rolls eyes:

[CanadianGuy]

Mdipi, are you really worried about losing the friendship or are you worried about being rejected? If you don't let her know you're going to regret it. I think you are more afraid of being rejected. It's okay to be afraid but if you if you don't take the plunge you might never know. What's the worst thing that could happen? She says she doesn't feel the same way about you and you can get on with your life. There are plenty of nice girls out there and if you spend too much time dwelling on this one you'll lose out big time.

Also, if you two are hanging out all the time chances are she feels the same way you do. Be a man! Tell her, but don't be all mushy and fragile or she'll think you're a wimp.

[Kitiara]

It all depends on the girl, in the end.

Some will respond better to being asked directly, others will be easier to talk to in a subtle way.

If you're friends already, then you'll probably have a pretty good idea of the kind of guys she likes, and how she prefers to deal with people.

[CanadianGuy]

Originally posted by mdipi.com
i tried that secret thing someone said to do (forgot who), but it didnt work, she was like, thats cool. i should have known tho...she is like that a lot.

oh well, apperently someone found out i like her and told her but she doestn belive them :rolls eyes:

Mdpi what did you expect her to do? Coming running into your arms and slap a big kiss on you? Not likely to happen.

She wants to know that you're confident and man enough to talk to her.

[CanadianGuy]

Originally posted by Kitiara
It all depends on the girl, in the end.

Some will respond better to being asked directly, others will be easier to talk to in a subtle way.

If you're friends already, then you'll probably have a pretty good idea of the kind of guys she likes, and how she prefers to deal with people.

Kitiara, mdipi shouldn't be trying to convince her to like him. I mean who cares about subtelty? If she likes him and he lays his feelings on the line in a sincere way he'll know by the way she responds if she likes him or not.

Mdipi, do it! Don't be a wimp or you'll regret it!

[MxNecromancer]

I tried Telling a girl in my school i liked her and she never talked after that. it was the worst thing that hapend to me being i nerver had a girlfriend in my life... i still dont :(

[CanadianGuy]

Originally posted by mXwarlord
I tried Telling a girl in my school i liked her and she never talked after that. it was the worst thing that hapend to me being i nerver had a girlfriend in my life... i still dont :(


What do you mean it was the worst thing ever? At least you're not wasting your time fawning after this girl anymore. If she doesn't talk to you anymore then she's probably an idiot!

[mdipi]

yeah thats how i am looking at this, at least i wont waste my time with liking her and i can move on after thsi. i havent ever had a gf myself either, not that i couldnt, :-/ its just hat i never liked any of the girls that i could have been with.

[CanadianGuy]

Mdipi, get off the computer and get on the phone!

[MxNecromancer]

u gotta point there... can u say the same with girls u like but never talk to?

[mdipi]

Originally posted by billmarr
Mdipi, get off the computer and get on the phone!

:azn: darn what a reilf. i dont think she feels the same way cause she was like "Nothing would ruin our friendship" but she had to go right after, so we didnt talk much.

at least i got it offa my chest :D

[CanadianGuy]

warlord,
If you like a girl then you should definitely talk to her. Granted you guys are young and probably a little intimidated by the girls you like, you should just know that they're like everyone else. Greet them with a big smile and they'll smile back. Have confidence in yourself. Realise that your fears are unrational and you can overcome them. (the more girls you talk to the easier this stuff gets)

Also, if you never talk to these girls then how do you know you like them? Trust me when I say that looks aren't everything.

[CanadianGuy]

Adda boy mdipi!

[mdipi]

billmarr how old are you? lol

[CanadianGuy]

I'm 24, and you are?

[reverendflash]

10

Revhttp://aulman.com/rev.gif

[mdipi]

no thats by brother. 14 lol. i alkways thought you were like 16.

[MxNecromancer]

15, well 16 in april

[CanadianGuy]

Nope, I'm old.

Don't worry mdipi these girl things get easier.

[mdipi]

hm yeah, tbh that was my first time doing that :-/. (did i say that?)

yeah, its one of those things, once you get over it one time, you can do it a million, its the initial scare :D