hip hop flier

[GrndMasterFlash]

just wanted to get some feedback, thoughts, different approaches, etc...

http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/663/ryzhiphopflierthumb.jpg

[nobody]

Why did you pick a 70's inspired font for a hip hop event? Why is there a single-helix in the background? Why is green and orange? Why does so much text touch the borders? Why is all the text white? Do you know what visual hierarchy is?

The silhouette head is kind of cool, I think if you used some sort of texture in it and completely changed the background you'd be off to a decent start. Then you need to actually put some thought into the text instead of just picking a crappy font and slapping stuff everywhere with what appears to be no thought whatsoever.

[GrndMasterFlash]

Why did you pick a 70's inspired font = it's a conscious hiphop show i felt the font gave it a retro feel the target audience would like

Why is there a single-helix in the background = it's supposed to be a steady sound wave (rock steady)

Why is green and orange = im actually using red, yellow, gold, and black. that little bit of orange is just some yellow glow over the red and once again the target audience is why i chose those colors.

Why does so much text touch the borders = no huge reason for this, i just think it looks good like that

Why is all the text white = readability in a busy background

Do you know what visual hierarchy is = yes

slapping stuff everywhere with what appears to be no thought whatsoever = your good a being a giant douche.

[Pasquale]

Why did you pick a 70's inspired font
= it's a conscious hiphop show i felt the font gave it a retro feel the target audience would like

It's also misleading


Why is there a single-helix in the background = it's supposed to be a steady sound wave (rock steady)
Give it a source, otherwise it has no context

Why is green and orange = im actually using red, yellow, gold, and black. that little bit of orange is just some yellow glow over the red and once again the target audience is why i chose those colors.

Target audience isn't a reason to use poo colours.


Why does so much text touch the borders = no huge reason for this, i just think it looks good like that

It makes it way harder to read and feels cramped.


Why is all the text white = readability in a busy background

So is poo-brown on light, snot-green; but it doesn't mean it looks nice.


Do you know what visual hierarchy is = yes

Why don't you apply it then? :/


slapping stuff everywhere with what appears to be no thought whatsoever = your good a being a giant douche.

*you're

I'm not trying to be a douche, I'm being honest, - and I'd have to agree with Jenkins. This thing needs structure. Right now it feels superly messy, unplanned & a bit cheap, which is definitely something that would deter people from wanting to hang out at that event. Something that is visually appealing will get people thinking & interested.

The fact that you picked hyperlink blue as a quote title is a sign that aesthetics is probably not your strongest attribute. Take the advice of people who do this for a living.


Also there is a [quote] tag :)

:2c:

[biznuge]

I can kind of see a little of my own design in this thing, in that I'm not exactly a designer... Sorry man, but the two crits already provided seem to sum up a hell of a lot about this design. If this was up against another flyer for a different club night, for attracting punters I think your client would be sadly dissapointed.

Why not check out some album covers for some inspiration or have a check out of some design books and clear your head of this attempt.

Sorry, as this does all sound incredibly condescending, but it's just not that great, In my opinion...

oh. and I DON'T know what visual hierarchy is, but thanks for the tip. I'll have a read!

[nobody]

slapping stuff everywhere with what appears to be no thought whatsoever = your good a being a giant douche.

It's "you're," not your, and "at," not a. I'm an employed designer, I'm calling your design how I see it. Sorry for not sugar coating it, apparently you can't handle it since you have to resort to name calling. I'm trying to give you advice on how to make it appear like you know what you're doing since you demonstrate absolutely no design sensibility, but getting pissy will probably make your design skills better so go that route instead.

[Pasquale]

I should add that being sentimental & rebutting critique isn't going to help you improve.

Give this a read : http://pasqualedsilva.com/blog/art-of-critique/

In the end the final product is dependent on you, but remember that two or several pairs of eyes in the design process are better than one.

[biznuge]

Can I get a critique sandwich to go...?


/***********************
//OFF TOPIC

Incidentally, why the hell were you ever called darkmotion in the first place with such an interesting name as pasquale? Really...

I'm called Graham for christs sake... There's obviously a reason I'd want a bizarre online moniker, but Pasquale is a pretty sweet gift to take from your parents!

I digress though...!

************************/

[Pasquale]

I feel like a sloot linking to my blog a lot lately, but I always end up having to explain things a messy way here.

The short answer is that it was a dumb name I came up with when I was in highschool because it sounded dorky/badass & I wanted a blog to slap things onto. Now that I'm working in animation & illustration, my actual name carries more weight, and since it's not so common, it works pretty well as an identifier.

The long answer : http://pasqualedsilva.com/blog/goodbye-darkmotion/
(http://pasqualedsilva.com/blog/goodbye-darkmotion/)

[biznuge]

good rebrand!

[Syous]

Sorry grandmaster but I side with nobody and Pas on this - you'd be very very wise to listen to what they've said and act on it accordingly.

[nobody]

Mark this in your calendars people.

[Syous]

Oh don't worry, you're still a douche ;)

p.s. it's not always a bad thing!

[TheCanadian]

Why is green and orange?
While we're all driving the grammar-mobile :|

But I still love you and will father your children any day.

[ajcates]

If your going after your target "audience"(which isn't programers) then why are you using curly braces on the poster?

[TheCanadian]

Contrary to popular belief, the curly brace has existed long before 1998.

[biznuge]

If your going after your target "audience"(which isn't programers) then why are you using curly braces on the poster?

If... You're... going after your target "audience"... :cop:

[GrndMasterFlash]

If your going after your target "audience"(which isn't programers) then why are you using curly braces on the poster?

yeah your right about that, what would be a good way to signify they are all part of the same crew?

[nobody]

You could try putting them all on the same poster.

[shane-c]

You're having a big problem organizing information on this thing. I can tell you have an idea of the style and aesthetic you're going for. But I can also tell that you didn't put much thought into the type, which is what organizes and portrays the information, and should be the most important aspect of the poster. You are using the exact same font color, weight, and size throughout almost the entire thing (with only a few variances), and no amount of curly braces will save you from having it look like a messy mush of words that doesn't give me any indication of where to start, what's important, or who's part of what crew. Visual hierarchy! If you put the thought and planning into how to organize all of the information you're displaying, you'll be surprised how solutions can tend to just magically conjure themselves.

I know type can be kind of a daunting thing (I'm not very good at it either), but unless you put the time and effort into improving your grasp of it, your glass ceiling is going to be pretty low as far as design goes.