site critique pls!

[yachtpicasso]

Hey guys.... i'm a complete noob at flash design and scripting. what i am ok at is editing. anyways, my cousin asked me to make a website for one of his products, and since he knows im getting into flash, he did me the favour of handing me the job.

so i made this site along with a friend... but its missing something. its missing some life. what would you suggest i add or change?

www.tonalinoil.it

just skip the intro cause im having problems uploading the video file.

thank you for your time!!

[pixelSnobbery]

First off, I'd suggest using some more imagery - not enough photos/graphics to brighten everything up.

Left align the text in the copy - at the moment it's too hard to read.

Reduce the distance of the drop shadow on the logos on the top left and bottom right - it's waaaaay to far away right now!

All in all, it's a bit plain at the moment... I like the nav on the bottom, but the rest of the site doesn't do much for me. Maybe try including some borders around the curved white box in the middle... Also try a different background colour. Maybe something darker?

[yachtpicasso]

thanks Pixel!! .... alas, i have been asked to change it completely.

but i will take your suggestions for future refference! :)

however, the background thingy couldnt be changed... it like a company "mark".

[biznuge]

Righto.

don't dig the menu bar. When i roll over something, I have no idea what it says as it goes into the white on gold thing. maybe tween the text to grey instead.

a lot of the context text is aliased to hell. thinking maybe you haven't embedded the font for this properly, and I don't have whatever font you've used... looks like bog standard rough edged times new on my peecee.

Not wuite sure whether the amount of content in this site is worth doing in flash. With such a text heavy site, and no real cohesion or back story to the animation and tweening, there'd be a definite case for this just being a few html pages. Would index better in google, and be quicker/ more easily updateable.

:2c:

sorry to sound so harsh.

[rumblesushi]

The intro is taking aeons to load, it better be worth it :D

[yachtpicasso]

The intro is taking aeons to load, it better be worth it :D

lol .... it isnt!

i must change the buffer time on it... cause it will take too long otherwise!

@ biznuge

... nah, its cool. without constructive criticism, nothing could ever improve! (if you just wrote.... S H I T ... i would have gotten sad though)

i think i know what you mean. and i will put it to good use next time. i never knew that if i dont embed the fonts, it shows up differently else where! i must do somthing about it asap! although i will need to see how its done!

thank you guys again!

[biznuge]

let me know if you want a retest or a screen dump anyway man. nice to know it was taken in the spirit of constructive crit anyway.

good luck!

[yachtpicasso]

i'm cool, but thank you.

it wasnt liked, so they asked me to do it in the way i did the first one (www.aminorelax.it) so i just did a copy paste thing.

i dont need any feed back on the new one, anyway... cause i used a template that time... :P

[finalvisual.net]

i still see a "<" character on the left screen.

[Stimbler]

the buffering is really too slow

[a tadster]

cool puzzle break apart animation, and the music is soothing.
But for all that loading, i did not get what i wanted, masses of content at my fingers.
What are 1-7 for? Shouldn't the whole thing just load together. I don't think you should reveal that it's in parts.

Very good design overall, I like the color scheme and the logo, but someone with a less than fast connection would be weary about loading this site.
I think you can do without the music and the puzzle animation. Or just the music as it might weigh more.
But you should try to limit the amount of loading that is needed. I did not know that clicking on the note took away the intro, that can be more clear.
I can't get back to the picture of the oil bottle, i guess it was an oil bottle, but no link will bring me back to what i first saw. And even though the little note gets pressed i still here the dings when hovering the links, the note should turn off/on all noise.

a good start keep at it