Ad created for print and online posting... Need some feedback :)

[creativeFuzion]

Like the title says, I have made an ad I plan to print locally and post on websites. I would love to have some feedback, because I don't really have any experience "selling myself". Clients usually get referred to me, but now I am inclined to get more business flowing in.

http://www.fadedelement.com/ad1.jpg

Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated! Thanks,

-Philip

[irishcash33]

Right off the bat, it looks like an ad for a night club. I think it is the colors..pink and yellow...
It works if that is what you were going for. It gets my attention, but it doesn't look professional, like you site does.
I think there is too much copy. I skimmed the first headline then went right to the bottom to the phone number and footer...
I would make a more prominent headline, less copy. Drive them to your site and phone number. Then they can get all the other info off your site..

[fasterthanlight™]

So...... many...... words.......

more so a brochure than an ad

[cshaheen]

My issue with this type of ad is that you basically said everything you have to say. You don't leave the reader curious, or wanting more. Forgive the lame analogy, but in my experience, this kind of self-promotion is equivalent to going up to a cute girl at the bar and telling her why you would be the best boyfriend she has ever had.

The graphic up top is intriguing, you should capitalize on that. Scrap all the copy you have there and come up with something short, sweet, and curios. Make the viewer think to himself, "whoa, this is awesome, I wonder what else they have (proceeds to check out your website which should have even more awesomeness)."

Does this make sense?

[Web-Stylist]

Exactly like Irish said, it looks like an advertisement for a night club or even a local brothel. I think you need to fix up on those colours and make it much brighter and lighter. There's also too much text, you really need to simplify on that.

[shane-c]

Is this company just you, or do you have multiple employees?

If it is just you, I wouldn't try and make yourself sound like something bigger (I've made that same mistake). If they go to your site, and like the quality of your work, that's what matters. You don't need to try and seem like a big company.

A lot, maybe even most, of your clients will understand the difference in price between going to an agency and going to a freelancer. If they are happy with the quality of the work you've done, they will probably be delighted to know that they won't be paying the salaries of every employee of some bigger agency. And it's also a plus that you will be their one point of contact - people don't like having to deal with a big, complex team most of the time.

Anyway, you might actually have employees, so this may not apply to you... Just thought I'd point it out :beer:

As for a design crit - your top graphic is eye-catching, but after that, I feel like it's a flier for a dance party or something. Nobody is going to want to read that much.

-The whole "how you'll get it" section should be saved for your website. It doesn't need to be the first thing people see.

-And really you could chop the "what you'll get with us" section down a TON, too.

-The "ok, let's get to the info..." part should go, too. I like that you're giving it personality, but it would be better (and quicker) if it just said "What is FE?" or something.

-Everything below and including "Competitive pricing. Endless creativity..." looks pretty good. Really, you just need to work on getting rid of all those words in the middle, and organizing your info a little better, so that your eye is guided through the ad, instead of just lost in an essay.

[Awesome-O 4000]

What's with the fluorescent color scheme? I think you should make the color-scheme consistent with your site, or vice versa. If the latter, I'd choose new colors.

Like others said, it looks like a nightclub ad, except with too much copy.

I'd kill your "'Nuff Said" tagline. Very clichéd phrase. Especially with the buzzwords leading up to it.

[Phenex]

Uff the colors are hurtful! And why do I have a feeling the colors will bleed while printing...?

[Anogar]

:wasted:

[StigC]

I think you should loose the very last line with the "fadedelements" text; it just seems like it's too much, after such a load of content.

Also I think you should lose the "sometimes it's a re-align instead of re-design" bit.
It just doesn't sound right. Like you're more willing to right what they did wrong, pointing out their mistakes, than actually doing a good job from the bottom up. (If that makes sense)

[StigC]

// Off Topic:

Hmmm... "local brothel" and "from the bottom up" - this thread is turning nasty! :beer:

[Jasninder]

its not stricking as much as an advert should
www.stocklayout.com
get some ideas there...

cheers