Need crit for ill

[mikken]

Hi folks!

Thought i'd throw >>this<< (http://amp-up.no/frank2.jpg) to the hounds.

I know i know i know i know, sunburst is Over Used (Hey, even the japanese are using it!), and this isn't breaking new ground in graphic design. But; does it work?

It isn't the most serious project I've ever done, it's actually part of a birthday present and the elements are central to the birthday-ee's personality.


Gimme your thoughts!

Edit: Cure for blindness ;)

[unclesond]

Edit - sorry i found it now, i am blind. Links are hard so see on kirata sometimes.

Sun burst has been overdone but i guess it is the japanese's to over do ;)

Its not bad, but a few bits don't seem to fit. The text, face and burst all look pretty cool. But the fishes text don't seem right to me. I quite like the cut outs you have for the birds, but if you did that to the fish it might look a bit bland. Let me have a think

[insaniak]

Not a bad composition - but watch the text as it does seem to have been smoothed properly on many of the letters.

[hybrid101]

i don't really think the sharks fit in. sunbursts look a bit too light, but overall, looking pretty good;)

[theflash]

As mentioned sharks dont seem to fit... also those white birds dont really look like birds... And bothe sharks and birds look a bit scattered oddly

[Pasquale]

Colours- icky and it doesnt flow :(

[Oli-G]

The sunburst is really taking over. I'd push back the harshness of the red by about 30%, and further turn it into a less sharp pastel/dusty red.

Try using some different fish symbols, play with different sizing etc, there's too many of the same thing at the moment.

So yeah, mainly needs softening overall, and a bit more organized chaos thrown in...

[mikken]

Thanks for the input - i'll try to fix it up alittle then

[mikken]

For those of you who have time to kill...

Here's the illustration after following some of your suggestions.

http://amp-up.no/frank4.jpg

Personally i think it's a great improvement. I don't know if the colors are less "icky", but the birds are definetely birdier and the fish fishier. The awkward empty space to the right will be used for some links in some way.

The birds may be a little pixelated and the face colour is maybe somewhat off, but now it's time to move on :)

Again, thanks for the input, even though there's nothing at stake:battery:

[theflash]

Better than the previous :thumb:

But that man could have been on the left side... right now it looks sharks are following that man to kill ;)

Tree moved to center looks good to me

[Esherido]

Much better than the prievious, the .net doesn't seem to fit in very well, might fit in better if you gave it a border and made it smaller. Great work though, like the fisherman. :D