First Paid for Site...

[Krogan McKruthe]

Hey, this is my first site (official) so please critiquer it...lemme know what you guys think...

PS: The customer still wants to add a few little things, so it's not done yet....

http://www.msfrealty.com/mike/punchy

Thanx in Advance.

:crazy:

[JoshuaJonah]

link?

[Tromiano]

where's the link :P ?

[Tromiano]

that's not bad, but does he seriously think he's cool because he's flipping everyone off that looks at his site. I was a little offended by it, but other then that, looks pretty cool!! :)

[JoshuaJonah]

1. I hate music players on sites.

2. That subwoofer graphic is the cheapest sub Alpine makes. Not really important, but people will notice that and the client will loose a little credability.

3. The smoking animation on the right, it takes away from the site, from a design point of view. I believe the smoke looks a little cheap, either lower the amount of smoke or lose the grpahic altogether.

4. How many times does it have to say "punchy" in the left top corner?

5. In the contact section, choose a paragraph format and stick with it. It's a strange combination of left, centered and some other type...:)

[audrius'05]

font size and different colors is killer, there is little room for interface design, but I compliment your first steps into webdesign.

[timothye]

i say great job and keep at it ..
:P
cheers :mu:

[applejelly]

erm...Is smoking meant to be cool or something?

Anyways, the font choice is bad, but for a first published site its not bad. It seems a bit....loose. I dunno how else to explain it, but it just seems like its a small product in like...a massive box full of that white foam stuff. The way I explain stuff is weird :S

[JoshuaJonah]

lol... i love your explainations aj :D

[eyeofthestorm]

i basically agree with what everyone else said about the site. The smoke design really does cheapen the site. and i would recommend taking one of the "punchy" texts from the top left. it looks kinda wierd that when you look at it it says "punchy" two times right next to eachother. work a little more on the content layout (the text colors, the paragraph format, etc.) but other than that. You did a really good job. especially for your first published website. so be proud. keep up the good work.

wait...one more thing. its not the most important thing. but to make the site more original, i would suggest changing the links in the navbar to some different animation. Just play around with it, let the creative juices flow. I know u can think of something cool and original. =)

[Krogan McKruthe]

Thanks guys for the comments...i appreciate it...I'll try to work on that nav bar....and i'll def kill one of the Punchy things and the text layout.....as far as the rest goes....he's the client, I never really liked the smoke idea...but he does...and he's paying, so if that's what he wants....than ok.

Other that, thank you guys again.
:crazy:

[eyeofthestorm]

Thanks guys for the comments...i appreciate it...I'll try to work on that nav bar....and i'll def kill one of the Punchy things and the text layout.....as far as the rest goes....he's the client, I never really liked the smoke idea...but he does...and he's paying, so if that's what he wants....than ok.

Other that, thank you guys again.
:crazy:

yeah. unfortunatly whatever the client says goes...but hey...hes paying you...so who cares? lol

[Krogan McKruthe]

ok guys, i took some things into consideration and changed some aspects oif the site without compromising the clients taste and requests....please check it out and re-critique if need be.
:pa:
Link
(http://www.msfrealty.com/mike/punchy)

[kernel_flash]

Also look for the preloader. It starts with Nan in percent loaded.

[bwh2]

the design isn't cohesive at all. every element is doing it's own thing and not working with the other elements. this needs a lot of work.

[Sillapanon]

decrease your font size. It's good:beam:

[SimplyArun]

something's not right with the overall look n feel of the site - don't know what it is exactly. Maybe the other wise-heads on the forum can help

[G]

I think it may be better to just strip all thatgray gradient out make it more simplistic to look at, at the moment it looks a little too blocky.

I think the mp3 player suits though but again the grey rectangles kinda make the site graphics look way to heavy...theres no structure to the design its just content in between to rectangle chunks.

Have you tried seeing what it looks like stripping these out and making everything a little more clean?

[Krogan McKruthe]

I think it may be better to just strip all thatgray gradient out make it more simplistic to look at, at the moment it looks a little too blocky.

I think the mp3 player suits though but again the grey rectangles kinda make the site graphics look way to heavy...theres no structure to the design its just content in between to rectangle chunks.

Have you tried seeing what it looks like stripping these out and making everything a little more clean?
...not necessarily, the client asked for this type of design.

[Krogan McKruthe]

Also look for the preloader. It starts with Nan in percent loaded.
how can I get rid of that...sorry i'm not very huge on actionscript.

[SimplyArun]

how can I get rid of that...sorry i'm not very huge on actionscript.
posting your preloader code in here could help

[Krogan McKruthe]

posting your preloader code in here could help


spacing = 10;
containerMC._alpha = 0;
var pArray = new Array();
var tArray = new Array();
MovieClip.prototype.loadPic = function(pic) {
containerMC._alpha = 0;
this.loadMovie(pArray[pic]);
this._parent.onEnterFrame = function() {
var t = containerMC.getBytesTotal(), l = containerMC.getBytesLoaded();
border.bar._visible = 1;
per = Math.round((l/t)*100);
if (t != 0 && Math.round(l/t) == 1 && containerMC._width != 0) {
var w = containerMC._width+spacing, h = containerMC._height+spacing;
border.resizeMe(w, h);
border.bar._visible = 0;
picinfo.info.text = tArray[pic];
delete this.onEnterFrame;
} else {
border.bar._width = per;
//gives the bar a max width 100
picinfo.info.text = per+" % loaded";
}
};
};
MovieClip.prototype.resizeMe = function(w, h, pic) {
var speed = 3;
this.onEnterFrame = function() {
this._width += (w-this._width)/speed;
this._height += (h-this._height)/speed;
nav._x = Math.round(this._x-this._width/2);
nav._y = Math.round(this._y+this._height/2+spacing/2);
//if you want the next and prev button on a solid place, skip next three lines
prevb._x = nav._x-5;
nextb._x = nav._x+this._width+5;
nextb._y = prevb._y=this._y-this._height/2;
picinfo._y = nextb._y-5;

picinfo._x = border._x-picinfo._width/2;
if (Math.abs(this._width-w)<1 && Math.abs(this._height-h)<1) {
this._width = w;
this._height = h;
_root.display.containerMC._x = this._x-this._width/2+spacing/2;
_root.display.containerMC._y = this._y-this._height/2+spacing/2;
_root.display.containerMC._alpha = 100;
delete this.onEnterFrame;
}
};
};
var gallery_xml = new XML();
gallery_xml.ignoreWhite = true;
gallery_xml.onLoad = function(success) {
if (success) {
var gallery = this.firstChild;
for (var i = 0; i<gallery.childNodes.length; i++) {
tArray.push(gallery.childNodes[i].attributes.title);
pArray.push(gallery.childNodes[i].attributes.source);
}
//loading first picture
_root.display.containerMC.loadPic(0);
} else {
title_txt.text = "Error!";
}
};
gallery_xml.load("xml/gallery.xml");
prevb.onRelease = function() {
if (cur == 0) {
_root.display.containerMC.loadPic(pArray.length-1);
} else {
_root.display.containerMC.loadPic(cur-1);
}
};
nextb.onRelease = function() {
if (cur == pArray.length-1) {
_root.display.containerMC.loadPic(0);
} else {
_root.display.containerMC.loadPic(cur+1);
}
};

[bwh2]

...not necessarily, the client asked for this type of design.
he probably asked for that because he's not confident in your ability. you may have said yes because you're not confident in your ability. i bet if you made a bangin' version that was cleaner your confidence and his confidence in you would boost bigtime.

[Krogan McKruthe]

he probably asked for that because he's not confident in your ability. you may have said yes because you're not confident in your ability. i bet if you made a bangin' version that was cleaner your confidence and his confidence in you would boost bigtime.

I appreciate this kind of response...you're being honest....tought, but honest...i'm sure i can come up with something alot better than that...but I don't have the time, and He doesn't have the money to afford what it would cost. I'm already giving him this for a very very very low price... And i've given him enough freebies on top of that./...i would love to do something more intricate, but i'm leaving for basic training (Air Force) in 2 weeks...so I don't have time, and like I said b4....he won't pay me what it would be worth.

But thank you very much for that...

[thaive]

Hey, congrats on your first officially paid for site, nicely done!

i have just a few smaller tid bits to possibly just re-hash.

1. your gallery seems to be off-centre, although only slighlty it is noticable. also just looking at the site as a whole, the top bar and menu bar also appear to be out
2. the gold gradient used in your contacts is very hard to read, even if this is what the customer wants it might be nice if you suggest for it to be either lightend or replaced with a solid color (gold), like most of the other areas in the site.
3. i don't mind the smoking man, i would definately perhaps increase their varieties of smoke and try to make it play more smoother. unfortunately, having him in the right corner is distracting. the balance of the site is kinda knocked out of whack. now i would not suggest mirroring it on the other side, but perhaps have something static on the left side from either the top or bottom. play around with it and see what happens.

we'll they're my two cents anyway. i hope i haven't stepped on any toes. anyway congrats again - i hope to be in your shoes one day :)


EDIT: i'm not an actionscript expert of anykind but is it possible that you have NaN written as the dynamic text and it shows that before it changes it to teh percentage?

[garyzero]

Congratulations on the site. I know how it is when a client ****s it all up.