Broke up with my girlfriend

[fester8542]

......

[gimmesomemore!!]

Hey fester, that's really cool that you did that. Makes ya feel a little better huh? Sorry about what happend, i can't image how you feel. I can kinda....but not to that extent. It'll be all good man. just wait. It'll be hard for a bit, but it was for the better i'm sure. Hope you feel better man. :cowboy: now go listen to "tom waits" and you'll feel better!

[hojo]

sorry to hear that fester, but its better that you shared it with us instead of like you said, getting in a fight at a bar with some drunken as*hole to the left of you

[gimmesomemore!!]

Well the stairs sound so lonely without you
And I ain't made my bed in a week
Coffee stains on the paper I'm writing
And I'm too choked up inside to speak

And Yes, I know our differences pulled us apart
Never spoke a word heart to heart
And I'm glad that you're gone
But I wish to the lord that you'd come home
And I'm glad that you're gone
Got the feeling so strong
And I'm glad that you're gone
But I wish to the lord that you'd come home

Well my guitar still plays your favorite song
though the strings have been outta tune for some time
Every time I strum a cord, I pray out to the lord
That you'll quit your honkey-tonkin' sing my song
And I'm glad that you're gone
Got the feeling so strong
And I'm glad that you're gone
But I wish to the lord that you'd come home

So I'll throw another log onto the fire
And I'll admit I'm a lousy liar
As the coals die down and flicker
I hear that guitar picker
Play the song we used to sing so long ago
I'm glad that you're gone
Got the feeling so strong
And I'm glad that you're gone
But I wish to the lord that you'd come home
And I'm glad, **** glad you're gone
Got the feeling so strong
And I'm glad that you're gone
But I wish to the lord that you'd come home

[pinx]

fester, sorry about your situation. I don't think you're being sexist (and i'm very feminist) but if she wasn't putting up her end of responsibility, that's not fair. and if the love is gone, that's it. you're young and will have many more loves in your life.

[Guig0]

fester, what you´ve done was in the best interest of both you and your ex.
you will feel like crap for a while, so will she, but in time you both will realize that this was for the best.

you showed a lot of courage, and maturity doing that. i respect that.

there is an old saying here in brazil that i´m not sure how to traslate it exactly... 'give time to time'... that means that you must have patience and hold on, and in time everything will be alright.




cheer up dude!

[mjULTRA]

good luck fester, it sounds like you did the right thing. Worse than making her cry would to be going on living a lie. Hopefully she will understand that, and you guys can be adults about it. Sorry about your tought times. Peace

[eyeinfinitude]

Hey fester, we're in the same boat, I recently broke it off with my girlfriend as well and it was for the best.

I'm sure your ex will be okay and so will you. Good luck with everything else.

[reverendflash]

Fester:

It took you less time than me. I was married for 6 months, knew it was wrong, but took 5 1/2 years to tell her. Talk about taking it hard... I actually left that night and stayed at a friends.

Her family was wonderful as well (I don't have much of a family left also). I feel quite a loss in my life without them, but I couldn't carry on a relationship of any kind with my ex-wife (she made sure of that), so I have lost touch with them.

My advice?

not much. Talking about it helps, and you both will be stronger, happier people because of it.

You did the right thing, she will see it someday... until then, watch your back (if she is vendictive), my ex tried to have my auto reposessed, told all of my friends I was gay (she moved back to Oregon), and other nice things...

I am a much better, and happier person today because of her...

Take care to not blame yourself too much. I went into a self esteem downward spiral because I was beating myself up for hurting her. Once I let that go, I was a much happier person.

anything I can do to help, let me know,

Revhttp://www.aulman.com/rev.gif

[SureShot]

Rev that is fantastic advice man...

Fester - I too had a girlfriend where her family and I became very close, to the point I would go over there when she was working or what have you just to hang out with her mom or dad for conversation sake.

Breaking up is so hard, especially right at the begining. So many emotions all at once can be very dangerous. We broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together and then finally broke up. It was almost a year worth of on again off again and it was hell. It's much easier in the long run to end it if you know it's not ment to be. The heart is a strange thing and it's not always easy to tell what is the right thing to do.

From your story - I would say you did the right thing and as most have said, you will be a happier person in the long run for it. Who knows - if it was ment to be than some day you meet eachother and rekindle what you once had... but until then live life and make yourself happy

[RenaissanceGirl]

Start doing all the things she didn't let you do or didn't like you doing. :)

[Jubba]

Fester: I use this board for therapy too. I'm sorry. I've been there too man.

[lava]

Eh... People are going to be mad at me for saying this, but here's how I see this.

You should NEVER let yourself be ruled, or your feelings be affected, by the actions of another person. Girlfriend crying cause you dumped her? Who cares, you made your decision. You feel bad cause your girlfriend dumped you? Who cares... you can't hold her to your expectations.

Feelings get hurt when people act in ways we dont expect them to. People often don't make the right decisions because they're afraid it will hurt someone else. But to tell you the truth, I don't care. People heal. People grow. People learn.

My gf dumped me a while back, and it hurt like hell. And I realized it was because I depended on her, and I expected a certain behavior from her (I expected her to care about me). But you know what? who cares? Certain emotions are a biological reaction that happen so that we strenghten our social interactions. These emotions often get in the way of rational responses. But things don't have to be that way.

Be staunch in your resolve. Things not working out? Try to fix things, but once you make the decision to break up, dont look back. I wouldnt let anyone else's feelings hold me back for anything in the world.

[gimmesomemore!!]

seems a little selfish to me.............

[vts31]

It hurts but you are better off. Time heals all wounds. Take care bro.

[Jubba]

Originally posted by gimmesomemore!!
seems a little selfish to me.............

What seems a little selfish to you?

[SureShot]

Lava - you have any feelings left in that body of yours?


I wouldnt let anyone else's feelings hold me back for anything in the world.

Just wait till you find that person who makes you the happiest in the world - suddenly someone elses feelings really start to matter. That's the great thing about a good relationship, it's about give and take... not just give or not just take.

[gimmesomemore!!]

jubba: I was refering to lavaboy's post. and sureshot: exactly!! that special someone :love:

[reverendflash]

Originally posted by SureShot
Just wait till you find that dog who makes you the happiest in the world - suddenly someone elses feelings really start to matter. That's the great thing about a good relationship, it's about give and take... not just give or not just take.

Tuknuk:

Sounds like Tina's got your number huh? A good Special First Dog is hard to find...

Revhttp://www.aulman.com/rev.gif

[lava]

In response to all your comments.

I feel like my plans for my life are more important than anything else. I have no problem being alone if no girls likes this fact. But to me a dream girl would be the one who would go out of her way to compromise and find a connection with both our lives. For example... say I meet a girl in college. She has to understand that my classes come first... I'll make time for her, but i'm not going to use time I need for something else for her. And if after college, my life takes me to one part of the world, and her's to another place... i'd want her to work with me to find a compromise..

My goals come first. Chicks come later... my dream in life is not to have a family, but to see how far I go professionally.

but that's just me, and I understand that there are a lot of people who feel otherwise.

[pinx]

if she moved, would compromise with her?

[RenaissanceGirl]

Originally posted by lavaboy
In response to all your comments.

I feel like my plans for my life are more important than anything else. I have no problem being alone if no girls likes this fact. But to me a dream girl would be the one who would go out of her way to compromise and find a connection with both our lives. For example... say I meet a girl in college. She has to understand that my classes come first... I'll make time for her, but i'm not going to use time I need for something else for her. And if after college, my life takes me to one part of the world, and her's to another place... i'd want her to work with me to find a compromise..

My goals come first. Chicks come later... my dream in life is not to have a family, but to see how far I go professionally.

but that's just me, and I understand that there are a lot of people who feel otherwise.

So it's not really a "compromise" but more of a "your way or the highway?"

[lava]

I mean, if she had to move, lets say california, and I had to stay in boston, we'd find a way to work things out...

[lava]

pretty much ren... I mean, I shouldn't expect anyone to live up to my demands, and I wouldnt want to have to live up to the expectations of others. if I want a gf, I'd want for her career to come before me, and if her career takes her somewhere where things are not going to work out for us, I wouldn't blame her.

[RenaissanceGirl]

So is it also weak for us coming here consoling fez? I mean we are considering his feelings here...

[SureShot]

Lava - if that's how you feel, than that's how you feel. It sounds to me like your last brake up really hurt your feelings and you dont want to be hurt like that again, no matter the cost. I know I dont know you and that's just what it sounds like. I would never judge you and you are right - if that's what you want than that's what you want. Plain and Simple.

But when you say

But to me a dream girl would be the one who would go out of her way to compromise and find a connection with both our lives.

that doesnt exacly sound fair. Why should she have to go out of her way to find a comprimise for the both of you. Like I said before, it works both ways man. Again, this is how I feel and you have your own feelings.... I am just telling you what I think.

------------------------------------------------------------------

As for you Rev, this eskimo isnt exacly pleased with you... Just remember one thing - spears hurt like a son of a....

=)

[reverendflash]

Don't worry Tuknuk, when Nanuq gets down here we will go out and stock you guys with Vodka for the next year... Maybe he can trade some of those pelts you guys been collecting...

Give Tina a squeeze for me...

Revhttp://www.aulman.com/rev.gif

[fester8542]

Thank you all for your kind words.

I am glad that most of you see this from my perspective. You are all a great bunch of people and I am glad that I found this place.

Now I have roughly 1 hr and 17 minutes untill I leave work and go hit the bars with some friends.

[Guig0]

we´re glad that you found us too! =)

drink one for me, willya? ;)

[RenaissanceGirl]

Hey and I will drink one (or two, or... eight) for you here too!

*cheers* :P

[Guig0]

for me ren??


:love: aww.. you´re the best g/f ever!!! :P :P

[lava]

Originally posted by RenaissanceGirl
So is it also weak for us coming here consoling fez? I mean we are considering his feelings here...
If you want to put words in my mouth go ahead, but that's not what I mean.