need help! graduation postcard

[billystar]

Hi fellas,

I need some input on the postcard for my grad show (industrial design). th postcard will be 1/3 a4 sheet in dimensions

im just gonna post what i have so far... so say what you do/dont like, colours, layout, elements that you think have potential!

cheers,

Bills :P

ps. this will go next to my finished work, so im trying to show my sketch style ... the images relate to one of my projects

[billystar]

the second one is a tad jumbled, im just interested if any element i should develop??

the third one is a business card idea. do you think it is too cheeky? would you pick it up if you went to a grad show?

[billystar]

3

[sumtan]

would be interesting if you use diferent color tint instead of grey, and use white for the text, too much empty space now, either enlarge the elements to fill in the empty space or add more ... i hope this helps

[billystar]

yeh thats cool, ta man, will try different colour tint...i find it hard to get a balance of space.... think ill add more content :)

[tronimrich]

How aer you doing that effect on (your face?) the guy in the lower left corner? I like it.

[iLikePie]

it's a vector style shading...
search vector tutorials :)
(probably done in illustrator or freehand)

[=guinness=]

the first is too open and the guy in the corner looks kinda ugly (maybe its the shading) his upper lip gets included in the shading and makes it look kind like a case of mic jagger or a sagging lip.

the second looses its unity when you put the white blocks in with the fluid lines (maybe you were going for contrast but it doesnt seem to work as contrast, just distration.)

the third... the third is just and ugly green topless chick that i have never liked even as you avatar when you couldnt see her breasts. ;P sorry.

you've shown theses pieces over the last few months were they all prep for this presentation or did u just use existing work instead of new work?

also what is your objective or message you are trying to send?
is it just showing things you've done compiled together, is it to present a website, or is there something else?

hope you do well in your showing :p:

[billystar]

@guiness

yeh ure right on all 3 counts... however if you read my post it says that each has different elements on them and i wanted feedback on those which people thought i should develop... if you also read my post its says that it is a postcard to promote me at my industrial design graduation show...

anyway here is another more finished piece

[iLikePie]

i can't see the new image you've added...

also, in regards to the card, i think that the naked chick really doesn't convey a professional image. It seems to just be provocative for the sake of it - that, or it would look like you're just a bit sleazy to be drawing things like that :P

I honestly think it just has an immature feel to it, i wouldn't pick it up.

[=guinness=]

@billystar

i understand a little better now, i think what would show some unity (but require some new compositions) would be to use the action sketches and show a progression from concept sketch to final vector.

i personally find the process very interesting in the creation of a piece (sometimes more than the piece, i also keep my sketches). if you showed a sketch of movment such as a run and jump, that gradually became more refined and finalized in vector that would still show your skills but have a stronger sense of unity.

:rambo:

edit:
just looked at your site again (been a few months, knew i had seen that style concept sketching). I guess my question is are you promoting your graphic design skills or are you promoting your industrial design projects that are on your site. Will this be like a program guide for your show or will it be part of the exhibit.

either way my above suggestion still stands and i think that would make a very nice advertisment.

best of luck

[billystar]

final one... any more thoughts?? i have added more sketches as you suggested guiness. i think it works well :)

[=guinness=]

best one yet, i like it, has a progression feel to it