why did the chicken cross the road?

[Makaveli]

ok, so here is the age old question WHY did the chicken cross the road, and someone went through the trouble to ask many people why they thought the chicken crossed the road, here are the responses:

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

ACCORDING TO:

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these
two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way, designed to bring greater services to the American people.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. Sadly, the chicken did
not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed to death by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
Why did the chicken cross the road? To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American, that's why!

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with "crossing-the-road syndrome." How much more
of this can real Americans take?! Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm
talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
going to the "other side." That's what they call it, people -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly-harmless phrases like, "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not
been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world, a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.

OPRAH WINFREY
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how
it experienced a serious case of molting but went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens, crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.

RONALD REAGAN
Hunh, what chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

JOHNNY COCHRAN
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit that chicken tonite!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed
the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
What, I missed one?

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[Jubba]

JUBBA:

Because it was stapled to the weasle.

[lava]

The chicken is suspected of having weapons of mass destruction...

[RenaissanceGirl]

Jacob Nielsen: The truth is, the chicken never made it across the road because of poor mystery meat navigation. Not only that but the road requires too much bandwidth and nobody likes to side-scroll.

[Makaveli]

before everyone goes off on a *tangent* , i'd like to suggest we create our own list of why Kirupians think the chicken crossed the road, here are some reasons why some Kirupians think the chicken crossed the road

Makaveli: The chicken was running from me, i was about to pluck it and it eats intestines and place its head on Phil's dinner table

Phil: The chicken was involved in a national conspiracy to take away our freedoms and was in cahoots with the IRS and planned to expand its operating borders BEYOND the road

kirupa: the chicken only wanted to learn flash, really it was looking for kirupa.com but it got lost

lostinbeta: the chicken wanted to be left alone and wanted its own reality like me, after reaching the other side, the chicken was forever known as chickenOnOtherSideOfRoad

david: the chicken was really a vampire chicken and it knew there were many gullible kirupians on the other side whose blood could be easily extracted

Alex: i'm lost

eilsoe: the chickens and werms were in a terrible struglle and I, commander of werms, forced the retreat of the chickens to the other side of the road


Ok so there you have it, its my little list, i am hoping YOU people will expand it and add more people or write what YOU think the Kirupians think the chicken crossed the road

[NaliWarCow]

That Ronald Reagan one was a low blow.

[mdipi]

mdipi: It ran away when i offerd the sweet spam...but no...not even a no thank you!

[nobody]

XXVIII: Like many chickens in it's day, it came down with a sudden illness. This illnesses code name was diahrrea maximus, which caused the chicken to crap like there was no tomorrow. The chicken lived on the side of the road where the desease was, and possibly a cow or 2. On the other side, however, there was a glorious golden toilet, with silk toilet paper. This caused a sensation in the chicken, no, not the unbarable pain in his intestines, but the feeling of joy, and comfort. The chicken then proceeded to cross the road. Once he arrived at the Toilet he realized it was nothing but a mere halucanation. The chicken then pooped itself as the story rapidly decreased in big wordinness.. the chicken lived poopily ever after.

[lava]

Lavaboy: The Chicken wanted to listen to my show, which was on the other side...

eh, that's not funny...
:(

[fez]

it was chronically ill and the hopsiatal was on the other side but it doesnt matter since it got run over anyway.

[Makaveli]

rev: the chicken was spam, it was simply spam posing as a chicken! so it went to the other side to "conversationalize"

vts: the chicken was a representation of art and the beauty of life, it wanted something greater in life so it crossed the road

fester: chicken? where?! *brings out barbecue*

guig0: here in brazil, we have no chickens! so all i can say is power to you bro! you go cross the road if you like

pom: thats right, we too have no chickens, only a lot of dead people and bad rifles :P (low blow i know, dam Phil's influence)


come on people......what do YOU think kirupa or phil might have said? thats my take....whats YOURS!

[Cynegenica]

It doesnt' matter why the chicken crossed!

Only that we remember that the chicken learnt that the saying "Life is always greener on the other side" was correct.

[Makaveli]

no more?? come on......

i want a Kirupian list.....go interview as many kirupians as you can! or just make up stuff.....


btw Cynegenica, i SOOOOOOOOO envy your avatar......

[upuaut]

The chicken, being decendent from foul of china, must be a terrible communist sympathiser. She crossed the road to spirit secret messages to the enemy.
Bush proceeded to declare war on all chickens, bombing them out of existance because they might represent a threat to us sometime in the future.

[Marz]

The chicken crossed the road because I was chasing it around with a fork and knife dammit..

End of CASE!

[upuaut]

and some bbq sauce.. I'm with ya there playmarz

[Marz]

Yeah.. me and David went to KFC with some bbq sauce and we talked to the COlonel and he said he was missing a chicken and that they were out of chicken for us...

So.. Us being the crazy type.. me and David sought after the small beast with the most pirmitive of tools..

Thus known as the fork, knife and bbq sauce container.

Needless to say.. David jumped over a car.. I flew out of the way and we caught the chicken.

And me and david lived happily ever after.. With some chicken in our tummies.. hehe

[upuaut]

why did the chicken cross the road?
he was following the egg.

[Makaveli]

the chicken led a rebellion to overthrow the king formally known as "The Big C*ck"

it was a momentus occasion

:angry: :angry: :angry: :P

[porpous2]

who would cross a road with cars going 10000 mph :) . really and the people wouldve never seen the chicken, stupid chicken.... Why you ask? he was drunk, hiccup :chinaman:

[upuaut]

why did the chicken cross the road?
he was following the egg.

no one is even going to argue this? :( ah well.. I was hoping to lead into my diatrab on which came first. :P

[Jubba]

well, thats exactly why I didn't say anything, and I was hoping no one else did either. :) :P

what do you think came first david?

[upuaut]

That would depend on one's belief in creationism, or chance.

A creationist can really answer either, but the more likely answer would be the chicken.
An evolutionist would have to say the egg.

I'm with the egg myself, the reason being:
A chicken, by definition of it's species must come from an egg. However, if one believes in evolution as I do, a chick, in an egg could be created by a creature which is not quite a chicken (but obviously very similar)

Since I cannot disprove the concept that a god created the chicken as is, I cannot likewise disprove that the chicken did not come first. I have faith in the fact that the egg came first though.

I thought my joke of why did the chicken cross the road, though, was very philosophical. It just came to me.. but I'll definitely be using it again in the future. It's one of those jokes that's only funny to people like me. I like that type of joke. :)

[Makaveli]

i stayed away from that on purpose....dont ruin my wonderful chicken crossing road thread with philisophical gobbledy gook!!

the chicken came first

[upuaut]

Though I suppose that if we are talking about any chicken... it must come from an unfertilized egg to begin with. The egg is created, and prepared to drop by the female without any fertilization necessary. It is not a chicken at that point, nor will it ever be. The egg is fertilized and then a chicken forms inside it.

That is something even creationists cannot argue with, since we can actually see the process occur.

So I guess that I can prove that the egg came first.. as long as we are not talking about the very first chicken.. which I doubt anyone was around to see.

[upuaut]

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the back of the chicken.

[Makaveli]

why was david lying on the ground bleeding?

cuz i shot him =)

[upuaut]

now.. that's not nice. :)

[Makaveli]

what happened when david tried to save the baby stapled to the back of the chicken crossing the road?

he was hit by a "Mak Truck"

lol get it?? :moustache

i'm a nice guy, really I AM

[upuaut]

Why would I try to save it. I was the one what stapled it there. :P

[Makaveli]

:scream: I KNEW IT!! :scream:

*calls Peta*

*Peta arrests david and locks him in a chicken house*

phil: your joke lacks humour

:P :P :P j/k..

[Makaveli]

my :love: for your humour has faltered

my new idol is david

i hope he enjoys living in taht chicken house

it suits him :P j/k

WHY AREN"T YOU PERFECT PHIL!!! I HATE YOU NOw :bad: :scream: :scream:

[Makaveli]

i'll get the sauce, you get rev

we will be cooking dave TONIGHT!

BWAHAHAHAHHA :P :P

[upuaut]

why did Phill and Mac puke after eating david?

probebly has something to do with all the crap he's eaten and or smoked over the last 2 decades.

I'm sure I'd taste terrible.

are the chicken in this coop Silkie's? they are so soft and good for @%#ing. Oops.. I guess there's another call going out to PETA. :P

[Makaveli]

!! :!: i am speechless:!:

smack some sense into him phil

and plump him up good

he can't discourage us to NOT eat him that easily.....

:angry:

[upuaut]

ok, but be sure to leave me in the marinade for at least 24 hours. That three hour **** just doesn't cut it. I know from experience.

Also please leave my brain and ***** untouched. I really do need those for things. The rest is not too useful. Bon Apetite

[Makaveli]

understood and accepted

the ***** control's the brain so it is vital for operations

what will you do without a body?

will you be a *****-head for rest of your life??

[Makaveli]

Originally posted by Phil Jayhan
I always leave the ***** untouched...


:phil: huh phil :phil:


:x :x :stunned:

:stunned:

:stunned:

ha!

[Aislin]

I didn't read the thread, but makavalekialvalikavilaki is jealous of my low post count, and I don't want that.

[Aislin]

no doot a boot it.

http://www.victorious.net/spam/spam12.gif

[Makaveli]

stop ruining my wonderful chicken thread!!!!

i bet PHIL drives THIS in REAL life

http://www.whitemetal.com/ppro/ttfeb99/ErtlTruck/spam_trk.jpg

[Aislin]

*squeals* that's fantastic. HE DOES! I rode in the back once. I reeked for a week.

[Aislin]

I don't get it.