<[Flush]>

[SeiferTim]

That was the sound of my entire life going down the toilet.
So how was your day so far?

[fester8542]

Things arent getting any better bro?

Sorry to hear that cheif. I believe in Karma man. She will get hers.

[SeiferTim]

Not even anything to do with the wife - this time....
Sure, she's still talking about me moving out, but we're on very good terms...
I got up today, after not sleeping hardly all night, so I was in a crappy mood... The kids were being loud, and yelling/screaming, and had the TV on full blast at 7 in the morning, so I wasa bit snappy, after asking them repeatedly to quiet down. After nothing was being done, my wife said: "just turn down the television", so I did - not even by very much, and my youngest step-daughter got all mad, and turned it off, and stormed into her room... 2 seconds later, she came back, and says: "It doesn't work!" and thrusts the remote for her TV in my hand... So I follow her back to her room, and say: "Why doesn't it work?"
"i can't change channels!"
So I pick up the remote, press a button, and the channel changes.
"What's wrong?"
She glares at me, takes the remote, I turn and walk out of the room, and she goes: "It doesn't work!"
So I take the remote, press another button, and the channel changes...
"What's the problem? It works!"
"I can't change the channel!"
"What channel do you want it on?"
"I'll do it myself" -and snatches the remote out of my hand, and then as I leave again, she says: "Look! Its not working!"
So, a little more curtly than I intended, I said: "I don't know... it works fine!"
And walked back in the other room to finish getting ready for work.... and then she started crying, and my wife got mad, and yelled some at me, and I got more upset, and was saying: "I didn't know what she wanted me to fix, if it wasn't broken..."
Then everyone sorta-cooled off a bit, my step-daughter's dad came, took her to school, and I took out the trash to the curb, and headed out the door about the same time my wife was leaving for work.
I left the same time I always do, perhaps a minute later 'cause of the trash. No biggie.
I walked the same way I always do - through the backyard, out the gate into the parkinglot of the curch behind me, and then to the sidewalk, and then tried to cross the street.
Traffic was horrible.
My wife had gone back inside a second after I left, and she passed me while I was still standing there, and walked down the street to get to work (she works just down the street). I stood there, waiting, trying to cross, and after I couldn't see my wife on the street anymore, she had walked too far for me to see her, I see my Bus coming down the street.
I'm still trying to cross, no one is letting me through, the bus comes, I'm waving at it to stop, the driver sees me, and then keeps going.
Doesn't even slow down.
I can't be late/absent at all anymore, or else I get fired.
I called my wife, upset, saying that I was going to be fired, and she said: "It's not my problem"
So I went back home, with the intention of calling work, quitting, and then looking for another job... I was really mad and upset at the same time.
Then there's a knock at the door. I answer it, and there's my Wife's Ex-Husband: "Get the **** in the car, ****face!!"
And storms down the stairs.
Great.
This guy makes a drill sargent look like a pansy, the way he screams and yells at anybody, and apparently my wife asked him to do me a favor, by driving me to work - after she told him that I made his daughter cry.
So, I got to spend about 35 minutes in the car with a guy who threatened to kill me about 6 times, called me every insult anyone's ever heard of, screamed at me the whole way, told me that if I either a: ever say a word to his children ever again, or b: tell anyone that he said any of this, he will bring a baseball bat to the house, and I'll wish that he had beat the crap out of me right there and then, and how much of a usless human being I am.
I know better than to even open my mouth when he's on a tirade, however, he kept asking rhetorical questions, and wanting me to answer... which made the whole thing even worse: "What is your major malfunction?!" (expletives removed to save space) and then is shocked when I shug or say "I dunno", because he actually wants an answer. I'm not an arguing person. People argue at me, not with me, since I tend to have the opinion that if its something that they want to yell about, then there's no point in yelling back, 'cause that won't really change their opinion, but rather give them a reason to yell more....
Then he went on for a long time saying that I lack any creativity at all, and that if I wouldn't spend all my time trying to be a 'computer animator', I would be able to get to work on time, and I wouldn't have to listen to his screaming... This whole part of the episode was more confusing than berating, since apparently he thinks I sit at home all day animating (I guess with Flash), when, in all seriousness, Flash is the one program I use the least.... and I'd rather be programming, or writing than doing any animation, except as something on the side.... but I still had to listen to him rant for about 15 minutes on the subject that no one would ever hire me as an animator because I have less creativity than a 'bucket of piss'.... and that I am a useless waste of space, etc, etc....
I finally get to work, and I'm about 2 hours early now, since it took us 35 minutes to get to my work, when the bus usually takes 2.5 hours.... and I get out of the car, slightly disoriented, and upset, and such, and realize that I left my cell-phone sitting at home, because I took it out of my pocket when I came back in from the bus stop.
That's not the end of it...
For the last 2 weeks, my job has been sending people home early, since its been slow. My paycheck is going to be very, very, short.... So I come in, and find out that the phones aren't working at all - or, that's what their telling people, it's more like no calls are coming in at all, and their were rumors that they were going to downsize this center anyway, so people have been talking. Their planning on sending people home already, and I haven't even clocked in yet....
So all the crap I had to go through to get to work, and there was no point to it... I could have stayed home....
I need another job....

So, in all, my day has been crappy, and lousy, and there is no chance that it will get better.

[McGiver]

my day
Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...Wums sound of the alarm clock flying against the wall
I woke up with a hell of a headache (no Idea why, I didn't drink anything serious yesterday)
I spent the day laying face-to-sofa in the livingroom zapping television channels until my remote control fell on the floor and one of the batteries rolled under my sofa.
There must be at least 10 batteries under the sofa, I never move it or try to fumble them back out again...
more new batteries would have been in the second etage, so I just kept watching MTV until some crappy music made me move to the telly and swich it out manually.
2 o'clock - time for breakfast. Milk empty my brother drunk the rest and put the empty cardboard box back in the freezer.
I thought about leaning for my final exams (everyone else already started learning, I didn't) but that would just have pissed me off even more.
so here I am, surfing the internet ending on kirupa.

hope your life will be better soon too

[thoriphes]

I need another job....
I'm sorry I have to say this, but I think you need another life. If this is how it's going to be in the future, would you really want to live it? Your stepdaughter seems to have little to no respect for you, neither does her daddy, and your wife obviously has something wrong with you to give a response like "it's not my problem".

If you're financially sound, I would say leave everything and start over, move to another town. You were already about to call into work ready to quit, and you fear that they're downsizing. Then you come home to all of that. You can't have control because the ex-husband is such a hardas[i]s who's threatening to beat you.

Again, I'm sorry I had to say all that, but it pains me to keep it inside. It would seem that all of this is a de-motivator for you and it'd be torture to have to go through it.

Take my advice or don't. I'm merely giving view to the situation. But before you do anything, wait it out. If it continues to be like that, then decide.

[prstudio]

wow.

well try to have at least some kind of job if you quit - you said finances were tight, so you need something to go to - even if its a grocery store or something for a couple of weeks until you can get something else -

Just like I've said before, be wise and don't act rashly.
Keep plodding on, don't give up.

[SeiferTim]

You have a point, but I've got $12 in the bank right now... :sure:

[fester8542]

Tim,
I know I am making assumptions off of strictly what you post, but I am going to drop my $0.02 anyhow.

It seems to me that you let people walk all over you. You constantly saying how so and so is screaming at you or your stepkids blatently ignore you or whatever.

I think you need to evaluate how you respond to others negitivity.

I know you mentioned you dont like to be confrontational but S*** man!!!!

I dont have any truly constructive answers for you.

I dont let anyone walk on me. Ever. Your wives ex is probably the biggest puss in the world. Most of the guys that act like that are. Its the whole Nepolian complex thing.

Stand up to him. Threaten him with a baseball bat and I bet he will fold like a lawn chair. If not grab a rock from the ground and shatter his nose with it. He will never screw with you again. I guarantee it. You might get probation for a year but you will leave the courthouse with your pride.

Of course my last statement was uber exxaggerated but you get my point.

Grow a set and dont let people push you around. If you let them they will.

[Raver Ryan]

I'm sorry I have to say this, but I think you need another life. If this is how it's going to be in the future, would you really want to live it? Your stepdaughter seems to have little to no respect for you, neither does her daddy, and your wife obviously has something wrong with you to give a response like "it's not my problem".

If you're financially sound, I would say leave everything and start over, move to another town. You were already about to call into work ready to quit, and you fear that they're downsizing. Then you come home to all of that. You can't have control because the ex-husband is such a hardas[i]s who's threatening to beat you.

Again, I'm sorry I had to say all that, but it pains me to keep it inside. It would seem that all of this is a de-motivator for you and it'd be torture to have to go through it.

Take my advice or don't. I'm merely giving view to the situation. But before you do anything, wait it out. If it continues to be like that, then decide.

Hey before you go and do somehting this extreme, alot of this stuff is everyday for me, its not the life you need to change its you! The way you describe your day and how your non-confrontational and how your step dauter has no respect for you, its time for a change for you.
Check with the boss next time you come into work to see if they are downsizing. Your wife said its not my problem, they way you described your morning its sounds like she is really stressed;try sitting down and talking with her over dinner and try to resovle the problems with family at the table. If you start to become say a basterd case during the day (ie: snaping a co-workers and/or family) isolate your self and do something that calms you. The ex-husband will always hate you for stealing his woman even if hes is in fault, but theres not much advise I could give to you about him.
I know this sound like a giant pile of crap but every time I get stressed or just have the worst day of my life I try one or more of these things

I hope things get better
Raver Ryan

[CanadianGuy]

SeiferTIm that sounds pretty crappy. I have to agree with thorphies. It may not be what you wanted to hear but it sounds like you're no more important than a doormat to your wife.

[SeiferTim]

Well, she was upset about making her daughter cry... I really regret snapping at her like that... I'm usually not an irritable person, but with all the other crap, and stress going on, I snapped at her.... so that was my fault. 100%

[RabBell]

fester8542 is right, you gotta stand up to this guy. Your wife and step-kid don't respect you because your not the man of the house. In some weird way your wife's ex-husband is.

Her kid cries and rather than talk it over with you, you fight about it and she then gets her ex-husband to shout at you about it. I know what your thinking she just told him, she didn't know he was going to do what he did. Of course she did, she was married to the guy she knows exactly how's he's going to act. If you don't stand up to this guy it'll only get worse. What do you think he says when your not around and your step-daughter is?

As for the job, quit now before it goes under and every job you go for you find yourself up against ex-workmates. Besides it doesn't sound like you enjoy it anyway.

You need to do something, the longer you leave it the worse it will get. It might be tough to do these two things but once you start your life will improve, you'll see.

Need any help? I'm Scottish and therfore a black belt in mindless acts of violence and threats.

[lunatic]

I am involved with a guy with kids. It is disturbing to me that the mom of your stepkids doesn't step in or support you and just lets the kids walk all over you. Okay you snapped, and maybe that wasn't the right way to handle it, but obviously the kids are struggling with what exactly your role in the house is.

What bugs me more is the way their dad treats you, especially in front of them. If he has a problem with your presence well in many cases that is to be expected. But for godssake grow up, get over it, and move on (him not you). What kind of example is he setting? When I moved in with my guy his youngest (4 at the time) didn't like me. But we all acted like adults, and his mom didn't let him get away with ANY of the crap he was trying to pull (which was great because I got to stay out of it). Once he figured out that he couldn't make me the bad guy (girl), and that mom wasn't automatically on his side just because, then he chilled out and we are now great friends.

I hope that, if you want to stay in this situation, you start forcing everyone to communicate. Sit down with you wife first, then bring the kids in. And hopefully some day you can even bring the d*ckhead dad in too. Violence isn't the answer here.

My $0.03

[SeiferTim]

Heh. Violence is the last thing I'm ever about to do.
I've only been in one fight, happened to be with my Wife's Ex, and it happened at like 2 am, outside.
He came at me, and I defended, tore up his face pretty good, and knocked the lens out of his glasses. I think I scared him more than hurt him, but after much yelling at me, he left it alone.
I'm very, very, pacifistic, even when someone is attacking me....
I will stand up for someone defensless/weaker or someone I care about if I have to.

[imported_ave]

sorry to sound harsh but u are only one who can change your life, sounds like your a sucker for punishment to me.

[RabBell]

there's being pacifistic and being walked over...

Maybe pull him aside one time and have stern words with him, ask him nicely to keep his nose out of what goes on in your house. Remind him that both his ex-wife and his kid live in your house, not his and maybe he should mind his own business.

What you gonna do about your job? If you don't mind me asking.

[SeiferTim]

I dunno yet.
My year anniversery will be next month, this will be the first job I've ever had for a solid year.
If I'm late, or miss a day, I'm fired. We don't have sick-time, or anything like that, and the Bus has pretty much caused most of the attendance issues I have.
The only places near me are fast-food joints, and convienence stores, which would only pay me minimum wage.
I'm making almost twice that here, and I can't really afford to take a pay-cut, but I also can't afford to stay here much longer... i would like a tech-job, of some kind, but there aren't any available around here - at all... I have copy center experience, but there aren't really any hiring copy centers nearby.... I used to work at OfficeMax, in their copy center, but I moved too far away, when I got a different job, and they're not hiring now... So, I'm basically up the proverbial creek, it seems. I've applied for a few places, but I'm highly over-qualified for the places near me, and the pay their offering is way to meager for me to afford anything, let alone the rent and such. I want to try to get some freelancing work, to get some side cash, but I haven't had time to site down, and put anything together - my site looks like crap for that very reason, and if I ever do get any clilents, unless I am unemployed, I won't have time to work on anything...

[radioxromance]

wow Seifer Tim, I didn't know you had things so crappy... you're such a great guy, one of my favourites here at Kirupa! I really wish I could help, and I hope your day gets better. And I think these people are on to something, most of what they are saying sounds like viable options.

[SeiferTim]

Thanks.
I'm going to have to seriously figure something out... and its going to be hectic....
I appreciate the kind words, everybody. I'm not the kind of person to give up, and I love my wife very, very much, plus, I don't want to just throw away my family, I've been married for about 2 years, but I think, to save my sanity, I may have to move on, despite what my heart is saying... I dunno...
Is it so hard to ask for things to just be cool? Sure, I'm not rich, and I've got bill problems like everyone else, I'm not asking for, nor expecting that to change, and yes, my wife and I will argue, and disagree, and get upset at each other, but that's normal for any relationship.... its just that it seems to happen more, and more frequently, that everything just goes down the crapper, and I have to climb my way back up out of a hole, just to have it happen again... My wife says how much she hates her ex, doesn't want to talk to him, unless it is something to do with the kids, and can't stand to be around him, even went so far to block his number on our phones.... but then she goes to the movies with him (my step-son wants her to go to the movies on friday with him and her ex, and she agreed, even though I said it wouldn't be a good idea, since their gonna argue...) , and calls him up and talks on the phone to him for hours, yelling at each other, cursing each other out, etc, because he's seeing someone else, whom my wife despises, and doesn't want the kids to be anywhere near, but whom he lies about, and has the kids spend time with all the time, etc... its all kinds of crazy...
:P Sorry for the rants, I guess I don't really have anyone else to whine at... heh heh...

[imported_ave]

What they said :)

and also never forget everyone has their **** to deal with, the lesson is not to wallow and to do something about it.
Way i see it you only have one option....and personally id take it

[radioxromance]

hey I was gone somewhat most of yesterday, so I don't know if you posted anything anywhere else... but how's it going?

[SeiferTim]

's'alright.
Nothing really eventful to talk about....
Had a bit of an argument with the misses yesterday morning, I said something, completly not meaning it to be upsetting, but she thought I had an attitude, and things spiraled downhill from there.
But its okay now..

[McGuffin]

My day so far:

I should be at school ATM. But I'm taking what I call a "Colin Development Day," or CD Day. This is a day where I sleep in and do whatever, instead of going to school. Very fun. Also, because I'm moving, we're buying this really really nice house, and I'm really pumped. I'm not happy about moving, but this house looks incredible and I'm really happy about that.

Tim, hopefully times get better. :)